Mom...evaluation

I'm just back from an evaluation of Mom at Bethany Homes, Care Unit II.
She's a real hit. She loves Polka music! I sat up straight and said, "are you sure this is Gladys?" (She hates Polka...but, that's THE BIG "A" for ya'.) She plays Bingo, takes part in everything except CHURCH activities.
She was quick, alert, funny and PROUD to see me today. I sat with her and two of her new friends. We drank coffee and ate donuts for about an hour. (MOM eating donuts....imagine.)

She was confused about where she was, (she thought she was in Firth.) She wanted to know why people stopped coming to see her. I explained that everyone was a thousand miles away and couldn't. She accepted that except for the wrinkle in her forehead, showing she didn't really get it. But, she forgot it and went about repeating everything she'd said moments before.

Early on in the conversation I called her "Mom" and she said "who is the mom person about whom you're speaking?" Then she laughed and I was relieved. I was afraid she'd forgotten HERSELF.

For everyone concerned about her surroundings and care....it's superb. They are SO friendly, caring and kind up there, I sorta' wish I lived there. (Kidding..duh!) But, man, are they good people at Bethany. They really know her well after a short period of time.

I left feeling sort of buoyed, yet somewhat dismayed. I was glad she was doing so well...but sad that I won't see my mom again. She's so sweet. (That's not Mom.) I wanna argue. Heck, she didn't even know or care that Barak Obama is the Dem running for Prez'. She even said, (proof of addlement,) that she thought she might vote for John McCain. In her right mind she would NEVER have said that. But, she was teasing a bit I think.
Well, kids.
That's it for now...

My Mom and The "Big A"

I'm going to see Mom today. She has been in Bethany Home's Memory Unit for a couple of weeks now. She's doing quite well according to the nice folks that run the place. Everytime I've visited with her, she seems to be "at home." It's sort of pathetic in that she doesn't really remember much about "home." She remembers things from her youth like crazy. She regales them with tales of Germany, traveling via ship, her Father, and when Art and I were kids. Her memory of recent events is mostly gone. She tells and re-tells stories. She asks and re-asks questions repeatedly. She still knows who I am, and speaks about those closest to her quite familiarly when reminded of others. She gets a nice warm smile when speaking of Art, Edith, Curt, Casey, Cookie, Kathy, Michael, and the great grandchildren. She speaks fondly of Loretta, my soon-to-be ex-wife. (I don't bother telling her we're divorced/ing.)
When her memory is jogged she seems to know it all. (But, she doesn't really.)
She's still witty and outgoing. She has lots of room to move about. The staff has stimulating projects for her. She's won a bingo, (which she denies,) reminisces, and visits with the staff. (She's still not too sure about those other Alzheimers patients.) She has unlimited snacks, (24 hours) lots of people looking out for her. They treat her royally. But, "pathetic" still says it. And, it costs about $4200 a month to keep her there. She has enough money to last about four months, barring a turn for the worse, health-wise. I have to visit with Cass County Social Services about getting set up to care for her when the money runs out. Sad that everything Dad worked for is being poured down the funnel of state-sponosred well-being. But, that's the road most of us will tread, unless we're fortunate enough to have hundreds-of-thousands of dollars at our access. (I won't.)
I remember how tough it was when my former father-in-law was in such a unit. His family was nearby all the time and he did OK. However, such a person as he,(and my mom,) are trapped with no place go..and little inclination to go anywhere. Sigh...my heart is heavy way too much. Mostly, I think, because of the helplessness I feel in really being able to do anything about her condition. I manage to spend quite a bit of time in denial, but usually slip back into reality upon each visit with her.