My boy and his dawg Duncan

Jane and I have been back from our journey out west since last Thursday. We came back early because Mom had fallen. As posted earlier...she's coming along fine now that she's back "home" at Bethany Homes. She was thrilled to see us. We left on July 25th at about 11am. We settled in Valentine Nebraska that evening and had a fine night. The drive was peaceful and lovely. The Rosebud Indian Reservation through which we traveled was serene but disquieting. I was concerned that the car might break down and we'd be FOREVER away from any sort of help AAA could offer. However, we motored on through and settled in Valentine at a nice roadside flop. I don't recall which place it was but we roomed next to a buncha' Trailer Park Boys and their abused wives. Such catterwalling and arguing. It kept Jane awake. I awaken for little, shy of an earthquake.
Bright and semi-early on Saturday we headed for Denver, via North Platte Nebraska. It was a six hour drive to Denver. We used a GPS system with an Asian-sounding electronice/digital voiced female. She gave us precise directions to Curt's place in Littleton, home of Columbine High School. The carnage was still fresh in our minds as we walked by the memorial to the dead and injured of that ridiculous example of American youth run amuck. A lovely spot, but rife with awful memories. Those poor kids...parents...and teachers.
Yet to come: Escaping Denver, sneaking into Salt Lake City and Pocatello.

She's Fallen, But Has Gotten Back Up

While away in The West, I got word from Bethany Homes that Mom had fallen and couldn't get up. However, as of today, following surgery on a "pretty severe break" in her femur, she's back home again. I visited her today and she's remarkably OK. She is in little pain and doing well. The therapists from Meritcare will be coming around daily for a few days, rehabbing her and they expect she'll be up and "runnin'" again before long! Woo woo!More on the Denver, SLC, Pocatello and most of Montana trek in a later blog...as soon as I get these pics loaded...

My Son's Dawg

Duncan is my "grand dog." He's Curt's golden retriever. Quite a dawg indeed. I can't wait to take a walk with him around Columbine High...or environs.

Mom at Bethany

Jane and I visited with Mom for a couple of hours yesterday at Bethany Homes. She was in good spirits. I hooked her up with Edith, her beloved daughter-in-law and they gabbed a good deal. Mom is very healthy but quite forgetful. Yesterday at one point, she said, "why don't we die before we forget?" I said, "Well, Mom, it's because we forget to die."

Small Town Saturday Night

Jane and I spent most of yesterday enjoying each other's company. We do that most everyday. She and I get the biggest kick out of each other. Thank goodness I found someone with whom to share the recent months. She's a very practical person with a solid world view. And, she laughs at my wise cracks. What more could one ask? She and I visited and gabbed all day long yesterday. We ended up at the Fargo VFW club watching and jammin' to THE OTHER SIDE BLUES BAND. Clark Gaeble, (pictured at keyboards above, his larger and grayer these days.) Hank Ternes, Dave Schrader and Larry Longtine, the band members are great! They're all able, seasoned musicians with a bent toward the blues...I would gladly share a bar stool with you anytime you wanna come by and watch 'em. I'm a huge fan.

Following that hour or so, we went to Pistol Petes in West Fargo where AVALANCHE was playing. They're very popular in these parts and neither Jane or I had ever seen 'em. They're country, loud and talented as hell. They had the place up and dancin' that silly, funny looking country kinda' dancin' with belt buckles, boots and beer. (You know what I'm talkin' about doncha'?) I'm friends and a co-worker of one of the band members, guitarist Brad Wilson. He's a good guy and has a side I'd never seen at work. He's a real, no-kidding, honest to goodness COUNTRY singer/player. I dug 'em. During a break, we met the whole band behind the bar in the smoking lounge called "outside."


Jane is ready to embark on our great adventure to Denver, SLC, Pocatello, Jellystone and points north, south, east and west. We leave Friday, July 25th. First stop Denver where I GET to see my son Curt. It's been waaaaaaaay too long since I last gave that handsome jamoke a hug. Brace yourself, Curtle, it'll be a loooooong hug. I can't wait to see m'boy, his pardner and his dawg Duncan. We venture on to Pocatello where I have another long hug reserved for m'girl Casey, her man Chris and his son Wyatt. Brace yourself Casey, I think I'll be up for two huuuuuuge hugs at least. (One for Curt and one for you'ze.) Jane will see Firth Idaho during this visit and that'll give her an idea of why I am who I am. (That's my story and I'm sticking with it.) In a previous blog posting I didn't mention how much I look forward to seeing my nephew Michael. He's just out of the navy and hiding out in Firth. After seeing the world, he's settled back down in FIRTH for cryin' out loud. I feel another big ol' hug coming on. I haven't seen him, or anyone else for ages, and hope they don't mind my being around for a day.
After Firth, it's Yellowstone, and home....

I think it's a flashback...

I'm sorry, but I'm thinking I just saw that DAVID DUVALL is in the running at The British Open. Or was it Greg Norman? Both of those fellas are among my favorite golfers. Especially Duvall. He was, back in the olden days, damned good. Then he did in golf what Chuck Knoblach did in baseball....COLLAPSED! I'm hoping it was a hallucination. Was it really? David Duvall?
Another thing. Courses in Scotland have little appeal to me. Those sand traps look like wells. The rough looks like Yellowstone. The fans look depraved.

I just like the guy....

Travel Plans...

My friend Jane and I are hitting the road.
On Friday, July 25th, we'll hit the road for Lincoln Nebraska. We'll stay there one night and head on over to Denver for some quality time with my oldest son, Curt. He and his friend Ken will visit with us for a day and then we head to Pocatello Idaho for a day or two with my dear, sweet, beautiful daughter Casey. Then, it's FIRTH IDAHO for a visit with my brother, sister-in-law, niece, her husband and two kids.
I hope to run into Robert, the Firth City Clerk and manager of Mom's trailer court. I'll have to put it up for sale so that Medicare can care for Mom at Bethany Home. Her stay has gotten VERY expensive of late. After a day in Firth and environs, we'll head to Jellystone, Cody Wyoming, the Bear Tooth Pass and back to Dakota in time for my Birthday. Many miles...
If you know of anyone that wants to buy a trailer court...let me know.

Breakfast at Wimbledon

Last night Kyle Busch won the Coke Zero 400 at Daytona. Great race. Sorry for the outcome. I'm a Number 24 fan and he crashed with about two laps to go. Oh well, "that's racin'."
The Twins are doing well in our great game of baseball.
I'm pumped for the upcoming NFL season and the Minnesota Vikings are looking very promising this year.
But, all that aside....I am a huge fan of big-time tennis. I never really played the game, although when in high school and college, I tried. It's just that I couldn't afford ball boys and had to run a few blocks each time the ball ended up "out." Not too many protected tennis courts in Firth Idaho.
I have been a fan for a few decades or so. I remember Breakfast at Wimbledon back in the day of Rod Laver, Jimmy Connors, John McEnroe, Bjorn Borg, Ivan Lendl, and Arthur Ashe. I never did much like Boris Becker, Pete Sampras or Andre Agassi, (but I loved to see 'em get beat.)
I was a huge fan of Billy Jean King, Margaret Court and Martina Navratilova. Nowadays, I dig that Sharapova gal.
These days I've become a devotee of big time tennis names like Federer, Nadal and The Williams Sisters.
I'm in heaven now that it's that time of year. Wimbledon.
In centre court today, it's Federer vs. Nadal. Switzerland vs. Spain. Today I give the edge to Roger.
I'm up and prepping the sparkling wine, orange juice, scrambled eggs and strawberries. It looks like the rain will hold up the action for another hour or so, so I have time to get the grub ready. Bacon first, eggs second, toast third, mimosa last but not least.

DIVORCE IS FINAL. (My, wasn't that quick?)

I decided I'd finally blog an entry about the end of the 28-year marriage. The divorce was final last Friday, June 20th. The divorce was decreed to be "a classic case of irreconcilable differences." For fifteen months we paid lawyers, sparred verbally, and were flushed down the vortex of legalese. It turns out we were just irreconcilable.

I can't speak for Loretta, but, for me, it was the worst year of my life. The time included my youngest son being out of work for a considerable time, my mother slipping into Alzheimers and Parkinsons Diseases, two hospital stays for mom, mom being shunted into another "care" unit at Bethany Homes, my daugher Casey's back problems and that miserable, irreconcilable relationship.

The terms of the divorce are private but, suffice it to say the judge split everything evenly. All that; for THAT. But, that's the way the ball bounces. Money, time, heartache, anger, confusion and negativism, just for THAT. The legal system into which we move during such times is hardly fair, and certainly, NOT cheap. But, such is the price of escape.

Though I'm not normally a praying man, (I don't believe much in the supernatural,)I AM praying for happiness, wealth, success and peace of mind for everyone trampled upon by this divorce. I hope my friends forgive me for having little else to think or talk about for the psat twelve months. I hope my children understand. I hope Loretta finds joy, love and reconciliation with life.

I hope I can get some calm in my stormy sea.

Mom...evaluation

I'm just back from an evaluation of Mom at Bethany Homes, Care Unit II.
She's a real hit. She loves Polka music! I sat up straight and said, "are you sure this is Gladys?" (She hates Polka...but, that's THE BIG "A" for ya'.) She plays Bingo, takes part in everything except CHURCH activities.
She was quick, alert, funny and PROUD to see me today. I sat with her and two of her new friends. We drank coffee and ate donuts for about an hour. (MOM eating donuts....imagine.)

She was confused about where she was, (she thought she was in Firth.) She wanted to know why people stopped coming to see her. I explained that everyone was a thousand miles away and couldn't. She accepted that except for the wrinkle in her forehead, showing she didn't really get it. But, she forgot it and went about repeating everything she'd said moments before.

Early on in the conversation I called her "Mom" and she said "who is the mom person about whom you're speaking?" Then she laughed and I was relieved. I was afraid she'd forgotten HERSELF.

For everyone concerned about her surroundings and care....it's superb. They are SO friendly, caring and kind up there, I sorta' wish I lived there. (Kidding..duh!) But, man, are they good people at Bethany. They really know her well after a short period of time.

I left feeling sort of buoyed, yet somewhat dismayed. I was glad she was doing so well...but sad that I won't see my mom again. She's so sweet. (That's not Mom.) I wanna argue. Heck, she didn't even know or care that Barak Obama is the Dem running for Prez'. She even said, (proof of addlement,) that she thought she might vote for John McCain. In her right mind she would NEVER have said that. But, she was teasing a bit I think.
Well, kids.
That's it for now...

My Mom and The "Big A"

I'm going to see Mom today. She has been in Bethany Home's Memory Unit for a couple of weeks now. She's doing quite well according to the nice folks that run the place. Everytime I've visited with her, she seems to be "at home." It's sort of pathetic in that she doesn't really remember much about "home." She remembers things from her youth like crazy. She regales them with tales of Germany, traveling via ship, her Father, and when Art and I were kids. Her memory of recent events is mostly gone. She tells and re-tells stories. She asks and re-asks questions repeatedly. She still knows who I am, and speaks about those closest to her quite familiarly when reminded of others. She gets a nice warm smile when speaking of Art, Edith, Curt, Casey, Cookie, Kathy, Michael, and the great grandchildren. She speaks fondly of Loretta, my soon-to-be ex-wife. (I don't bother telling her we're divorced/ing.)
When her memory is jogged she seems to know it all. (But, she doesn't really.)
She's still witty and outgoing. She has lots of room to move about. The staff has stimulating projects for her. She's won a bingo, (which she denies,) reminisces, and visits with the staff. (She's still not too sure about those other Alzheimers patients.) She has unlimited snacks, (24 hours) lots of people looking out for her. They treat her royally. But, "pathetic" still says it. And, it costs about $4200 a month to keep her there. She has enough money to last about four months, barring a turn for the worse, health-wise. I have to visit with Cass County Social Services about getting set up to care for her when the money runs out. Sad that everything Dad worked for is being poured down the funnel of state-sponosred well-being. But, that's the road most of us will tread, unless we're fortunate enough to have hundreds-of-thousands of dollars at our access. (I won't.)
I remember how tough it was when my former father-in-law was in such a unit. His family was nearby all the time and he did OK. However, such a person as he,(and my mom,) are trapped with no place go..and little inclination to go anywhere. Sigh...my heart is heavy way too much. Mostly, I think, because of the helplessness I feel in really being able to do anything about her condition. I manage to spend quite a bit of time in denial, but usually slip back into reality upon each visit with her.

A Grand Day Indeed

Saturday was mostly fine for me.
I ended staying awake until 3:30am fer' cryin' out loud! Safe, sober and sane it was. But, late! Don't ask why because I DON'T KNOW.
It all began with breakfast, work, Duffy's, home and the dogs...Then, got all gussied-up for the 33rd-annual Art Gala on behalf of the Plains Art Museum. The featured artist until June is Auguste Rodin! He was a great sculptor and the man that crafted "The Thinker." Jane and I oohed and ahhed over each of the dozens of pieces on display.
We also oohed and ahhed over the appetizers provided by Green Market catering. Then we oohed and ahhed over the music of Post Traumatic Funk Syndrome. They're a 12 piece band featuring funky tunes of the 70's and 80's and beyond I guess. I dig those cats, man.
I DID miss NASCAR last night though. Who won? Was it Jr.?

Sunday Morn' comin' down...still

The storm that roared into our neck of the woods this weekend was a real butt-tightener. I worked from 6-11am, taking calls from hundreds of listeners describing the awful driving conditions. Roads were impassable, cars were in ditches, (back in Idaho we call roadside ditches "Borrow Pits,)plows were plowing and cops were ticketing drivers for going the speed limit which was TOO fast.

Afterward I spent an hour with Mom at Bethany Homes. Somehow, she seems MORE coherent than prior to her latest hospital adventure. In fact, she was concerned because she couldn't find her cigarettes. I asked her what brand she smokes and she insists "Winston." She'd smoked Virginia Slims for the past umpteen years, so she's a bit off on that count. She hasn't smoked for two-and-a-half years and acted as if she'd NEVER smoked. Well....now....she wants her cigs again.

I give her the clues to her crosswords and the number of letters and the letters we already know. She gets about 80 percent correct. It's been a fun couple of visits of late. She's sharp and not as morose as in the past.
I was telling Jane about stories I've read of when people go blind for instance when they get a bonk on the noggin, and decades later get another bonk and get their sight back. I wonder of this second trauma this winter maybe bonked her into answering crosswords correctly and yearning for her cigs. The brain is a mysterious organ indeed.
(Not having one, I wouldn't know for sure...but I've read that it's a nysterious thingy.)

My eldest writes of his Grandmother's communication

My heart swells with pride at the eloquence of my oldest boy..
Read this my friends

Mom Recovers!?

Last Friday Mom had a seizure while riding in the car with Jane, Char and me. We were taking her to see Whalen and Midge, our dachshunds. They were anxious to see her and she them. However, the episode occured while crossing town. Jane was driving and ran a stoplight getting to the emergency room at Meritcare.
She was admitted and tested with EKG, EEG, MRI and Echocardiogram. She was found to have an infection but not a stroke or "seizure." (I saw it...I KNOW it was a seizure...but, I'm no doctor.)
The first few days were awful with mom being sedated and out of it, or agitated and confused. Thank goodness for a caring, attentive staff at M'care. They were all great.
This morning, when I stopped in for a quick visit she was in GREAT shape! She remembered me, and even recalled being picked up for the ride on Friday. But, nothing after that. The poor little thing. I had her speak with Curt, Casey and Cookie, her dear grandchildren. She was wide awake, alert and quite communicative. Even yesterday she wouldn't have been able to do that. Man, were they and I HAPPY!
The next issue is WHERE SHE WILL LIVE. Bethany Homes is making efforts to keep her there. I hope she can stay there. But, perhaps she'll no longer be up to living in an "assisted" unit. But, if she's back to "baseline," perhaps life will go back to normal. She'll never be the Gladys we knew in years gone by, but isn't that the way it is with ALL of us? We all love her so much. Thanks to all who have shared their concern.
Heck, now that she'll know what they are, I may even send flowers....

Well.....it continues

The judge ruled that my divorce case be "continued" until May 14th!
All this for a pittance.
My God, what a drag this has become.
It may be a Roller-Coaster but this is no fun ride.
Stay tuned.
I've made an offer.

Tomorrow is the day

Monday, April 14th I go to court to end this nearly 28-year marriage. Loretta and I were together nearly 30-years as a couple.
Our first few years were very healthy and quite happy. Our son Charles is the greatest thing we accomplished and I'm very pleased with what a fine man he's become. I hope he can reconcile to this divorce. He is taking it quite difficultly I think. He doesn't speak about it so I'm not sure, but I think he's having a tough time with loss of a "home base."
I'm nervous as hell about the nature of tomorrow's court action. I am determined to keep my composure and to convey my deepest wishes for a "good" outcome. I want Loretta to be able to get on with her life with as little headache as possible. I want things to be fair and equitable.
I'm sure she can do much better out here in the real world than she believes.
I know she has made strides in setting up a circle of friends and co-workers with whom she can relate, communicate and have fun.
I've been told she has a boyfriend that offers her some sense of normalcy. (I know VERY little about those two, but I wish them the very best.)
I have a lady friend that keeps me grounded and in touch with life as it can be.
My attorney is well-prepared and I presume hers is as well.
He and I have had a good working relationship. His fees have been quite reasonable and I hope it's a good investment.
I had hoped this divorce wouldn't proceed to this point. I'd hoped she and I could resolve this between ourselves, but in September, all negotiation was cut off and the rest has been in the hands of $200 an hour attorneys. They earn their keep, but I wish they'd not have ended up as well off as I'm sure they are.
Keep your fingers crossed for the outcome.
Fair and equitable.
I also hope joy and happiness can result for both of us. It's not like a light switch with an on-off button. But, hope prevails.