It's Not Even Christmas...

I now have the Gillette Fusion Power Shaving System. I remember back when we used to have Razors. No longer...It's a Shaving System.
Five blades ladies and gentlemen! Not Four. Not Six...FIVE BLADES!
And, it vibrates for a cleaner, closer shave.
Is this a great country or what?!

Ron Kress.....I Have Memories Too..

A legendary high school basketball coach has been laid to rest in Southeastern Idaho. I just happened to hear of the passing of Ron Kress. He's the guy we used to call the "little white-haired rat." He was a loud, crass, crude, vulgar, ignorant, obsessive little white-haired rat.
I was "team manager," (water boy) when he coached at Firth High School. His first gig was head coach of the Mighty Firth Cougars. He did both football and basketball. He also taught classes for which he was unqualified. He nearly blew up the school when they allowed him to teach chemistry one year. All he really knew was sports and the jocks that played them. He was masochistic to the enth degree. If he could make you suffer, he'd just relish the moment. If you were running laps and thew up, (I saw many that did-not me,) he'd be plain out jolly. Nothing like a pile of vomit in the middle of the running track....
He hated those of us that couldn't do the drills. He didn't like those of us that couldn't figure out that the hell he was talking about when he wanted us to run plays. We wanted to dodge balls. He wanted us to run patterns. That's all he wanted of anyone.

Here's the news piece I found. CLICK HERE
One of the most successful high school basketball coaches in Idaho history was killed this weekend.
Ron Kress was hit by a truck while chasing a loose cow on a highway near his family's ranch.
Kress coached 14 years at Highland High School and took the basketball team to two state championships. He also spent seven years teaching at Pocatello High School until he retired in 1993.

Don Cotant, Pocatello High School Principal: "I think the thing people will remember about Ron Kress is his enthusiasm for basketball. That was the love of his life."

Aa memorial service for Ron Kress will be held Wednesday at the LDS church in American Falls.
CLICK HERE



THIS IS NUTS! OR, I AM:

Think what you will of me, but, I'm thinking back on this fellow in only the worst of terms. Somday I'll tell you the terrible tale of my buddy Curly and the lifelong hell this "legend" unleashed on my former pal. No matter what they say, this "legend" deserved as much derision as adulation he's received. I'm not proud of those thoughts and responses. But, dang it, he was such a strong influence on my high school years, I can't let them slip by without honestly reflecting. He did very little good for me, even after all these years of retrospect. I could've been told that there was a future career in my field of expertise, (water boy,) even in the NFL. I was wrapping and treating sprains clear back when I was a sophomore in high school.
Nevertheless, this legendary Pocatello basketball coach never did anything to encourage me. He'd,in fact, throw things at me with intent of beaning me. Whew!
Good luck Ron Kress, from that water boy that you'd never, ever remember.

Now, tell me, why would I even dwell on this matter?
Sigh...

Christmas blah blah blah on the Prairie

The blue-noses thought they were in charge of the area's sensibilities last year. Some poor schmo who happened to be the director of Bonanazaville in West Fargo made a Satanic decision which resulted in untold death, devastation, abortions, child beheadings, divorces and twisted spines.
He decided to called our annual event at the museum "HOLDAYS ON THE PRAIRIE!"
OH MY GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD!
NOT HOLIDAY ON THE PRAIRIE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.
Local rightwing talk show hosts went apoplectic.
Jowels flapping, spit a flyin', hands a'wavin'. It was a sight and sound of epic proportions. Only the righteous could feel the fervor.
The rest of the infidels laughed behind his back.
Congregations grabbed pitchforks and hysterically demanded the life of the the curator. The streets filled with outraged parishioners wanting to know what happened to Christiandom. Why had the atheists taken over?
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? Again, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGH.
Instead, the curator yawned, wondered, "What the...?" and left. It was no sweat off his chafed thighs. He just left and went back to the real world.
Now, (PRAISE THE BABY JESUS!) the powers-that-be deemed it time to change the name to refelct our more chaste sensibilities..This year, it shall be called, "CHRISTMAS MEMORIES." Ahhhhhhhh, now that's a secular name if I heard one.
Since Mr. Hoheisel, the former curator left in April to pursue a doctorate in Satanism I think, the executive board and new director have....drum roll please....come up with a NEW NAME for a three week annual event.
Now, you can come to our little bit of hevvin and not feel deprived of a chance to make it through the Pearly Gates without a detour.
Someone tell Northern Gleaner he can come home again.
The rapture can begin.
(Or is that rupture?)