The blue-noses thought they were in charge of the area's sensibilities last year. Some poor schmo who happened to be the director of Bonanazaville in West Fargo made a Satanic decision which resulted in untold death, devastation, abortions, child beheadings, divorces and twisted spines.
He decided to called our annual event at the museum "HOLDAYS ON THE PRAIRIE!"
OH MY GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD!
NOT HOLIDAY ON THE PRAIRIE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.
Local rightwing talk show hosts went apoplectic.
Jowels flapping, spit a flyin', hands a'wavin'. It was a sight and sound of epic proportions. Only the righteous could feel the fervor.
The rest of the infidels laughed behind his back.
Congregations grabbed pitchforks and hysterically demanded the life of the the curator. The streets filled with outraged parishioners wanting to know what happened to Christiandom. Why had the atheists taken over?
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? Again, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGH.
Instead, the curator yawned, wondered, "What the...?" and left. It was no sweat off his chafed thighs. He just left and went back to the real world.
Now, (PRAISE THE BABY JESUS!) the powers-that-be deemed it time to change the name to refelct our more chaste sensibilities..This year, it shall be called, "CHRISTMAS MEMORIES." Ahhhhhhhh, now that's a secular name if I heard one.
Since Mr. Hoheisel, the former curator left in April to pursue a doctorate in Satanism I think, the executive board and new director have....drum roll please....come up with a NEW NAME for a three week annual event.
Now, you can come to our little bit of hevvin and not feel deprived of a chance to make it through the Pearly Gates without a detour.
Someone tell Northern Gleaner he can come home again.
The rapture can begin.
(Or is that rupture?)
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3 comments:
Hi Jack,
It is great to have you back. I have missed getting regular updates on your not-always-so regular life.
As to your most recent entry, well-written though it may be, I think you are railing against the wrong group.
Let's say that some annoying 'movement' resulted in George Steinbrenner changing the name of the Yankees to the Mammoths. Certainly the new name is about as benign as possible. In addition, one could make the argument that the Yankee name was born of regionalism or xenophobia or some such idiocy. But wait, the silent mega-majority is outraged at the change. Steinbrenner eventually caves and the traditional Yankee team name is restored.
Now, who should be blamed for what turned into a huge mess?
Now, where did I put that pitchfork?
Merry Christmas!
That's a heck of a lot of capital letters for one post, Jack.
Good to have you back.
Did I hear my name mentioned in Vain.
OH, that's right, all publicity is good publicity.
I've got that right, don't I?
Good Stuff.
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